The role of car parks in children's football
Bear with me on this one.
I first started taking my eldest son to play in football matches in 2004 when we lived in the USA and he’s still playing today, and now his younger brother plays too. They are at different clubs, but that is neither here nor there. The eldest is at California FC and the youngest at Pinewood FC. It is something they both look forward to and is an important part of their lives. I went to a Rugby school, but still played football at breaks, on the street and occasionally in the park. I even played every Friday evening when i was about 14. I loved it too, and when my boys started to play, I found myself learning to coach and as well as managing age groups for some 7 years, I also ended up as a Club Welfare Officer.
In my short time as a Club Welfare Officer, I managed to get about 80 coaches through their CRB check, most come willingly but others just don’t get it. I also got rid of one coach. Another coach at a tournament had seen and heard his behaviour, and was concerned. Seeing the good side of people, he offered to mentor him to help him understand how you treat children. The offer was declined and because children were upset and things said that were inappropriate, he had to leave his coaching role. It caused a bit of an uproar with the parents because the team was doing well. I had a meeting with them all, including the coach in question. Basically, they all agreed the coach was a bit “strong” at times and a couple of children cried and were upset. It turns out that since it wasn’t their kids he was picking on, it didn’t seem important. It wasn’t all the parents, but I really have no time for the ones that it was. I consider them cowards.
So what has that got to do with car parks?
Before I get to that, I watched my eldest son play in a cup match last Sunday. They lost 3-2 in extra time. I ran the line and I have to say it was a good match, only spoiled by the behaviour of the opposition coach and some of their parents. The referee was challenged for nearly all his decisions, I was challenged and the coach was having a right go at his players who were an under 12 team, so most would be just 11. The referee was a teenager, and I felt he handled the situation and the game excellently. I made sure I congratulated him after the match and said I wouldn’t referee here if that is what you had to face. That’s right, it was their own referee.
What I don’t get is this was an 11 a side match so there are about 11 mums and dads who are happy to let their kids be treated like that and a young referee who thinks it’s normal. If a teacher in school said half of what the coach and some parents said, they’d be straight up the school in a blink of an eye, and too right. Somehow, when it comes to football it’s sadly a different matter.
On the other hand, I was very pleased with my son’s coaches and despite losing they never once stopped providing encouragement. The end of match talk had them leaving with their heads held high. It is my eldest’s first season at this club and the move has been good for him. My other boy is still at another club and guess what? He plays the same opposition on Saturday. I’ll watch out for behaviour, but it is usually at a team level rather than a club and I hope it will be fine.
I urge anyone who watches children’s football to take a few steps back or stand on the opposite side of the pitch and just listen to what the coaches and spectators are saying. I’ve done this a lot, particularly at football festivals. One thing I’ve noted is that teams that get into finals have quiet coaches for the most part. They talk to players and not bawl them out. They also tend to have parents that support rather than coach. When I was a Club Welfare Officer, I would intervene with some spectators, who were trying to argue with a referee or having a go at players, and I’d ask them what car parks had to do with children’s football. They never knew so I had to tell them. the car park is the best place for you to be when your child is playing football.
EDIT: My youngest son, who plays for a different team to my eldest had a match against the same club today (Saturday 22nd October 2011). Two phrases the coach repeated with the kind of venom normally reserved for a stereotyped Sergeant Major were “Get stuck in” and “Take them out”. He came out with more crass phrases, but they were the two most “popular”. It wasn’t the volume, because volume isn’t bad in itself, it was the tone and the delivery. The play stopped on more than one occasion, just because he yelled. We’re talking about a U10 match where most of the children are just 9 years old.
I had a camera with me that could video and it wasn’t until after the match that I realised I should have videoed the coach in question. I’ve come up with an idea to name and shame these people, and am busy looking into it. I hope I can make it happen.